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June 18, 2019
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5 Secrets to Receiving Never-Ending Job Offers

5 Secrets to Receiving Never-Ending Job Offers

Why are these five points a secret? The answer lies in the bible (honestly). Evil doesn’t lurk in the dark, it shines so bright that people look away and ignore it (Noah was the only one not to look away). The five points listed in this article seem innocuous, benign, and non-revelatory. They are easy to dismiss, and that is why they are secrets. People are looking for the big answer, when the real answers are so boring, do dull, and so obvious, that people ignore them.

 

1 – Learn How to Make Friends

The fact is that charismatic people get jobs and they get promotions. People promote people, and people want to be around charismatic people. If you have ever read the fantasy* novel known as “Think and Grow Rich,”  You may read examples of people from farm children to presidents who used charm to make others rally around them. Charm and charisma are things you can learn, and you can learn from the charming people you see and meet around you.

When you attend interviews, make friends with employees in the building. Make new friends socially, in business settings, and even in leisure settings. You will be surprised how far you will get by making friends. Work on becoming more likable, study and hang around individuals who are charismatic, and employers will be beating down your door to hire you.

 

2 – Upload Your Resume to CV websites with high rating customer reviews and Keep Them Updated

Do businesses really check job board websites and classified websites to find employees? They probably don’t do it as much as the websites would have you believe, but HR departments are clearly placing adverts on these websites, and the same goes for recruitment companies, so there is a chance that your CV will be exposed to the right people. Keep your resume current so that employers who check these websites know that you are still active and still looking for a job. You may get lucky and get offers from HR employees and agents who are being pressured for new recruits.

Some people are able to take the resume/jobs website method to a new level. They exploit the system by logging in weekly because they know it shows if you haven’t visited in a while. They change their bio descriptions and CVs on the website because they know the search engines key in on new information, and they even change their profile picture every month because it attracts the attention of people who have already viewed their profile.

3 – Hire Somebody to Be Your Agent

There are some professions where you may hire an agent to do all your job hunting. This means you will keep receiving never-ending job offers until you tell your agent to stop. It isn’t just actors and singers who use agents. Anybody in the creative industry may use agents, from writers to people designing corporate logos.

Be creative in your approach and use the resources at your disposal. Do you have a 19yr old unemployed daughter who is still living at home? Turn her into your agent. Give her instructions and set her to work. Tell her you will pay her a commission for each interview she gets you. Maybe you have a spouse who is as loving as he/she is ruthless, in which case you can set your spouse the task of finding you more job interviews. Setting somebody else to do all the search-work is sometimes a good idea because the frustration of not finding the right job can lead to a form of temporary depression where everything starts turning gray and before you know it you are not bothering to apply for jobs because of the ten flimsy reasons your depressed brain just invented.

4 – Exploit the Fact You Are Drop-Dead Gorgeous

The fact is that beautiful people find jobs more easily. There are plenty of savory reasons for this, with the most obvious being that people want to work with good looking people. There is nothing seedy about it, people like beauty, and you shouldn’t let ugly people convince you it is wrong to enjoy the company of beautiful people.

A problem arises when beautiful people hide their good looks for whatever fear has been instilled in them this week by whatever media outlet they enjoy. What they forget is that while they hide their light under a bushel, others sit upon a candlestick and giveth light unto all that are in the house, (King James Bible, 1611, Matthew, 5:15 and 5:16.13).

In other words, while you are hiding your beauty for whatever reason, the next person gets the job because she/he takes advantage of god’s given gifts. If you didn’t win the genetic lottery, then turn yourself out a little better, work on your health, work on your style, on how you look, and then start working on your personality (à la the first point in this article about friends and charisma). Plus, being funny and fun to be around is always a keen backup if you are not a looker; so long as you do it right (i.e. do not try too hard).

5- Be Willing to Move…Anywhere

When somebody says, “I just can’t find a job,” ask that person, “Have you tried the whole world?” Obviously, people do not search the world for a job because circumstances do not allow them to, but circumstances are only as restrictive as your thinking allows? Mortgages, kids and family tend to tie people to one place, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You are probably going online and looking for jobs in a 15 mile-or-less radius, but why not expand it to 25 miles or 50 miles? Cast your net over a wider area, and you increase your chances of getting job offers. Houses can be sold, trains can be taken, and kids can move schools.

Sometimes, the only limit on your options are the ones you impose on yourself. A commute may seem like a nightmare, until you realize there is a train, bus or highway that takes you almost all the way there. A commute may seem expensive until you find out there are several people in your area who wouldn’t mind carpooling for a token fee. Plus, your partner may not like your area as much as she/he understands. It may simply be that your partner is stuck in a rut and is unable to see the benefits of moving to a new area where you will have a job and maybe a career.

Conclusion – Boring People Are the Most Successful

There is a professor who has videos online of his talks at Stanford. His name is Robert Morris Sapolsky. And if you can hold off vomiting for long enough while he gets through his featherbrained leftist rhetoric (he literally is a 1960’s era bearded lefty), you may hear him talk about hippos. To us, a hippo eats, poops, wallows, and humps on a daily basis. Humans get up, go to work, shower, go to bed, and they do it almost every day.

To us, a hippo’s life is routine, but no animal on the planet, not even the humble hippo, would do the same thing every day without going insane. Our ability to do the same thing every day, in the same order, and with little deviation, is one of the things that makes us as powerful as a species. The most boring people are the most successful because they embrace routine and habit, and you can do the same. Routinely updating your online resumes, routinely checking for jobs, routinely answering questions online, routinely cultivating friendships, and routinely setting up interviews will ensure you are always receiving never-ending job offers.

*When a book like “Think and Grow Rich” tells you in the book that the method only works for 2% of its readers, it means it doesn’t work! We do not use CPR because it only works 2% of the time.

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